Into the Fog 

Some days I think
I still love you
And other days
I hate you
And wish for
The chance I never had:
To be angry,
To scream at you,
And hit my fists
Against your chest,
So you could feel the pain
That makes tears fall
From my eyes.
But I couldn’t let you in
If I tried.
There is too much of it,
You see,
There is so much feeling,
A fog in my heart
That I fear will never
Become translucent
The farther I travel through it.

She Must Be Loved

I meant everything,
I gave everything,
And that’s why
I became nothing
When it was thrown away.
And now I try, everyday,
To fill up the hollow places
With a love that cannot
Be faked,
Or taken away
For someone else;
I pour love into myself,
From who I once was
To the person I hope to become.
She must be loved,
And no one can do that,
No one can be expected to,
Except me.

Be Here Now

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I have been walking forward
With my eyes closed,
Thinking of the past,
Only to get hurt by it,
Again,
Instead of seeing what is
Right in front of me.
Why can’t I open them?
Why must my heart
Keep pulling back?
This is it,
This is all I have,
And I don’t want to miss it.
I don’t want to live in yesterday;
I want to be here, now.
But memories have a
Way of creeping in,
Playing a somber melody
In the background
Of every smile, laugh,
And touch.
Perhaps this is what makes
Each moment so
Hauntingly beautiful.

Two Things About Love

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I know these two things for certain:

First, you cannot learn about
Love from a single book.
No love is the same,
So I encourage you to keep reading:
You must put books down
That I know you want to read
Again and again until the
Ending turns out differently,
So that you can pick
Up new ones that will
Challenge everything you once thought.

Second, love is not a box
That you fold yourself into
So that you fit perfectly
Into someone’s life, desires,
Or expectations of you;
Rather,
Love is an open field
Where you can run freely
Without worry
Of where it ends,
Or where it doesn’t.

You Will See


You think that this will
Be the thing that ruins you,
Because it has a way of
Ripping you open and
Exposing you to what
You fear the most,
But it doesn’t.

After the numbing confusion,
Perpetual tears,
Burning anger,
Silent screams
And tortured longing,
Pain and sadness
Slow down enough to allow you
To understand,
And eventually accept,
Events that have tested your strength.

And you’ll change,
Because you’ll see the world
Differently through adversity,
You’ll see the beauty and value in people
That others failed to see in you,
And you’ll see your strength
In loving yourself enough
To walk away from
What hurt you.

The Place


I come here often,
The place where the love
Used to be;
Maybe I never left
And it has been
Traveling with me.

It has been with me,
And I have felt you
Still-
You are here,
Aren’t you?

You carry the place
With you, too;
You carry me,
Just as I carry you.

Stepping out
Only means going
Farther in,
So we learn
To stop trying to leave
While not coming back,

And we go on,
As if it didn’t happen,
As if the other does
Not walk around the earth
Carrying a piece of us.

It did happen,
You are there,
I am here,
But we are in
The same place,
Where the love
Used to be.