Deserving 

There I was,
Extended on the warm sand
With the hot sun pressed up
Against my skin,
Barely covered with lavender-
Colored fabric.

Alone again.

I wear it proudly:
I do not feel wanting.
This is the way it has
Always been.

I walk up to the ocean,
My greatest fear,
The great unknown.
I want it to envelop my body
And wash away
The leaving:

The times they told me
I was deserving of more
As they walked away
And hoped someone else
Would do the job.

But there is no one else
More deserving;
There is only me.
I am deserving of myself,
And I am no longer waiting;
I am going to the water,
I am going to live,
Even if I have to do the
Frightening things alone.

The sand pulls me closer,
The waves tower over me,
And I dive in.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s